510 Squats

Oh, the humanity!

In my junior class, I challenged the kids to a contest...a prize will be awarded to the student who does the most pushups and squats. I issued this challenge a month ago, and reminded everyone during each class. Last Thursday, I started the testing. To my surprise, the first kid did 200 squats. Next kid, 212 squats. Next, 224 squats. Next, 402. Yes, that's four hundred and two.

Wow.

I had no idea that the kids were capable of that much. Of course, they're smaller than we are. They use less energy to move less mass around. And they are filled with the boundless energy of youth, so I should have been better prepared for these results, but I was astounded.

You see, my personal record was only 268, and that was several years ago.

Of course, I decided to go home that night, and see what I could do. I've been training pretty consistently lately, so I warned my wife that I was going to do some squats and then would be useless for the rest of the day.

100. No problem. Just starting to feel it.
150. OK, what was I thinking? No, no, don't quit... just keep going.
225. Wow, I'm getting close to my old record! But why can't I feel my feet?
275. Yay! Beat my old record! But I've still got a ways to go.
350. Endorphins are supposed to kick in sometime, right? Right?
400. Only a few more to beat my juniors record. I wonder how many more I can do? And who let those purple elephants in here?
450. I think I'm dying. But I'm so close to the fabled 500 squats, I can't quite now! Gotta keep going...
500. Holy crap! I did it! I think I can bust out 10 more, just to be safe!

Now, do recall that I'm in fairly good shape. I'm not superhuman (that's painfully obvious), but my job as a martial arts instructor keeps me very active, and I enjoy my training. But I will tell you that my legs have been useless since last Thursday night. That means Friday. Saturday. And Sunday. Useless. Oh, I could walk, I mean, more or less. But I admit to being a somewhat comical sight this past weekend. The funniest thing about having legs that are completely shot is that you can be standing perfectly well and then have them give out from under you for no reason whatsoever, and then you look like a buffoon while you try to catch yourself.

Usually, I schedule a massage after this sort of thing, but it's been busy, so I just suffered through it. I worked out again today, and I'm starting to feel normal. Well, kind of. Here's what I did:

12 burpees
24 pushups
36 squats
400 meter 'run'.
repeat two more times.

Usually, I'll do this workout with 4 sets instead of three, but it was all I could do to hustle my big bodonky around the track each time with my legs still feeling a bit shot. That first run was funny, let me tell you! I looked like a drunken hippo that got Tasered in the butt, but I got around. That 400 meter interval should be a full-out sprint, but at this point, a funky shuffle is about all I can muster. I'll keep working at it.

Anyway, I should resume regular workouts this week, and since Monkey is now in summer Montessori school, I can beef up my training by going to the track, the practice field, or even work the wall with my lacrosse stick. I'm not planning to compete any time soon, but I like to be in good shape.

So it's back to the full training grid for me. Forms, sparring, taiji, meditation, grappling, the whole bit. I know it seems an odd blend, but it works for me.

And I still don't know who's going to win that contest. On Friday, one of the kids did 503 squats. I think he's the frontrunner at the moment!