Please don't judge me too harshly for my thoughts...they are my own, after all, and I figure that we're always learning and growing. I'm sure there are many folks who think far differently than I. I share my thoughts this time because I just feel that maybe it could help someone be more positive about the subject.
In the past, I always felt that folks who committed suicide were selfish, that it was a permanent solution to what I figured was always a temporary problem. To be honest, I felt that they were weak in some way. Having been through a certain amount of difficulty and tragedy in my life, I just couldn't fathom what they might be thinking to make that decision.
Then Robin Williams took his own life. This was a man beloved by so many for his amazing humor and so many acts of kindness and generosity, a man who apparently even knew how much he was loved, a man with money in the bank, a loving family, and an extremely successful career with no end in sight. In the past, Robin had trouble with addiction and depression, but everyone thought he'd conquered those obstacles, and we cheered him for it. He had everything.
I read somewhere that someone else had asked the obvious question, "What could possibly have been going on in his mind to bring him to do that? I just can't even imagine what it would take..." And the answer was "You should be grateful that you don't understand, that you don't know firsthand what kind of pain he was in."
That's what struck me. I know my own mind very intimately. Suicide would simply not be an option for me. I strongly believe that I can weather pretty much anything by breathing in, breathing out, repeating that process, and moving forward as much as possible through whatever obstacles might arise in life. That's how my mind works. I don't suffer from depression. My brain just doesn't work that way. Robin's apparently did. The man was a genius, and an absolutely wonderful human being, but there was a lot going on in that amazing mind of his that we may never understand. It doesn't make him a lesser man than me, just different. It could even be said that he's a stronger man than I for fighting his demons for as many years as he did. I haven't had to fight the same battles as he. I can't even imagine what he might have gone through. Not only was he fighting his own battles, but he still found it within himself to be kind, thoughtful, and generous to pretty much everyone who ever crossed his path. I don't know that I could be that strong.
Knowing that a man as intelligent, talented, kind, and well-loved as Robin Williams could go to a place where suicide seemed like an option, in fact, the ONLY option, made me realize that maybe I don't have a full understanding of what might go on in such a person's mind. Maybe I'm not quite as knowledgeable about such things as I had previously thought. And just maybe I need to be a bit more understanding and compassionate towards folks who may be fighting battles that I may never be able to fully grasp.
Robin Williams certainly left his mark, both with his life and with his death. I still get misty-eyed when I read more about what a wonderful person Robin was. Heck, tears spring to my eyes just seeing a picture of him at this point, and it'll be awhile before that goes away. After all of this, I simply resolve to be strong enough to be kinder to everyone, both in my deeds and my thoughts. I owe that much to Robin just for all the times he brought laughter to my life. Thanks, Robin. We love and miss you.
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